Lyrics:

While digesting Reader's Digest
In the back of the dirty book store
A plastic flag with gum on the back
Fell out on the floor

Well, I picked it up and I went outside
And slapped it on my window shield
And if I could find ol' Betsy Ross
I'd tell her how good I feel

But your flag decal won't get you into Heaven anymore
They're already overcrowded from your dirty little war
Now Jesus don't like killin', no matter what the reason's for
And your flag decal won't get you into Heaven anymore

Well, I went to the bank this morning
And the cashier he said to me
'If you join the Christmas club,
We'll give you ten of them flags for free.'

Well, I didn't mess around a bit
I took him up on what he said
And I stuck them stickers all over my car
And one on my wife's forehead

But your flag decal won't get you into Heaven anymore
They're already overcrowded from your dirty little war
Now Jesus don't like killin', no matter what the reason's for
And your flag decal won't get you into Heaven anymore

Well, I got my window shield so filled
With flags I couldn't see
So, I ran the car upside a curb
And right into a tree

By the time they got a doctor down
I was already dead
And I'll never understand why the man
Standing in the Pearly Gates said

But your flag decal won't get you into Heaven anymore
We're already overcrowded from your dirty little war
Now Jesus don't like killin', no matter what the reason's for
And your flag decal won't get you into Heaven anymore