Lyrics:

Nazis and Morris dancers
Cookery and home improvement shows
All mysteries to me
All mysteries to me
Oh yeah

Gymnasiums amaze me
And building schemes confuse you
River dance, new romance
Plenty much amusement

These modern mysteries
Are just not my cup of cha
Surely we all agree, one thing unites us all
Stand up and be counted
You know who you are
You know who you are
We all love Columbo
We all love Columbo
We all love Columbo
We all love Columbo
All love Columbo
We all love Columbo
We all love Columbo
We all love Columbo
As well as things