Lyrics:

I didn't have a chance in art school
You offered to help this poor fool
And I was more than pleased
That you had taken me under your wing
And during those first encounters
I sensed a curious power
But I was ill equipped
To understand your subtle hints

Oh Valerie!
Oh! I never thought it would go this far
Oh Valerie-hee!
I never thought it would go-o-o-o this far

I never suspected your intentions
When you showed unusual affection
But when you kissed my cheek
My world collapsed my knees went weak
That moment just made no sense
I lost my nerve and innocence
I turned and ran away
I'll never understand that day

Oh Valerie!
Oh! I never thought it would go this far
Oh Valerie-hee!
I never thought it would go-o-o-o this far

It's so easy to see now
You dropped a thousand clues
But no matter which way I turn I've something to lose
Something to lose!

Oh Valerie!
Oh! I never thought it would go this far
Oh Valerie-hee!
I never thought it would go-o-o-o this far

The last I saw of Valerie
She was followed in the school's art gallery
By some aspiring soul
I hope she understands her role
Still stumped in my confusion
With one last innocent illusion
I've got just this to say
I wish there had been an easier way

Oh-ho! Valerie
I never thought it would go this far
Oh Valerie-hee!
I never thought it would go- whoah-o-o-o!
Oh Valerie!
Oh! I never thought it would go this far
Oh Valerie-hee!
I never thought it would go this far