Lyrics:

Was on a golden golf course dressed in PVC
Chanced to meet a golf girl selling cups of tea
She asked me did I want one, asked me with a grin
Thruppence you can have one full right to the brim

So of course I had to buy one -- in fact I ordered three
So I could watch the golf girl, could see she fancied me
Then later on the golf course after drinking tea
It started raining golf balls and she protected me

Her name was Pat
And we sat
Under a tree
She kissed me
Kissed me three kisses
And this is what bliss is
She became my missus
We had a son
Named Jason
And he's only one
We go for walks
In fine weather
All together
On the golf course

Standing on a golf course dressed in PVC
I chanced upon a golf girl selling cups of tea
She asked me did I want one, asked me with a grin
For tuppence you can have one full right to the brim

So of course I had to have one -- in fact I ordered three
So I could watch the golf girl, could see she fancied me
Then later on the golf course after drinking tea
It started raining golf balls and she protected me

Her name was Pat
And we sat
Under a tree
She kissed me