Lyrics:

I went up for my interview on the fourth day of July

Personnel man he questioned me until I nearly cried

Made me fill in forms, until I shook with fear

About the colour of my toilet roll and if my cousin's queer



He asked me how many jobs I had before

He nearly had a heart attack when I answered: four!

Four jobs in twenty years, oh this could never be

We only take on men, who'll work until they die



He said here's you goldwatch and the shackles for your chain

And your piece of paper to say you left here sane

If you have a son, who wants as good career

Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years



He took me outside to where the gravestones stand in line

This is where we bury them in quick stones and in line

If you come to work for us, on this you must agree

That if you're going to die, please do it during tea break



He said here's you goldwatch and the shackles for your chain

And your piece of paper to say you left here sane

If you have a son, who wants as good career

Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years



This story that you've heard, you may think rather queer

But it is the truth, you'll be surprised to hear

I did not want no job upon the board

I just wanted to take the brooms, and sweep the bloody floor



He said here's you goldwatch and the shackles for your chain

And your piece of paper to say you left here sane

If you have a son, who wants as good career

Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years