Lyrics:

mother, father, I'm here in the zoo
I can't come home, cause I've grown up too soon
I got my sentence, I got my command
they said they'd make me major if I beat off any man

I could be a corporal into corporal punishment
or the general manager of a large establishment
they pat some goodbyes on the back and put some to the rod
but I never thought they'd put me in the goon squad
they've come to look you over and they're giving you the eye
goon squad
the ones you took home or out to play better say goodbye

some grow up just like their dads
some grow up too tall
some go drinking with the lads
some don't grow up at all
you must learn the proper place for everything you see
but you'll never get to make a lampshade out of me

I could join a chain of mail, be the invisible link
go looking for a lucky girl to put me in the pink
they pat some goodbyes on the back and put some to the rod
but I never thought they'd put me in the goon squad
they come to look you over and they're giving you the eye
goon squad
they want you to come out to play
you'd better say goodbye

mother, father, I'm doing so well
I'm making such progress now that you can hardly tell
I put in a little dedication with one eye on the clock
they caught you on the medication
you could be in for a shock
thinking of the alibis that everyone's forgotten
just another mummy's boy gone to rotten

they pat some goodbyes on the back and put some to the rod
but I never thought they'd put me in the goon squad
they come to look you over and they're giving you the eye
goon squad
they want you to come out to play
you'd better say goodbye