Lyrics:

Whatever it is you think you are,
you aren't.
A good friend, unique, well-read, good-looking or smart.
Well, now you know.

Well I hate to be the one to bear such bad news.
I know it hurts to hear but it's true.
You don't mean anything to anyone but me,
and even I think that you're blinded by conceit.
So now you know.

Free beer and basement shows
don't mean you've made it.
It's what you do
not who you were
or what you wear
or where you've been,
so do something.

Whoever you think is watching you dance
from across the room,
they aren't.
If anything, they feel sorry for you
'cause you try so hard.

I know it hurts to hear,
but it's the truth so you might as well hear it
from a friend.
You're a has-been
that never was.

I know it's mean to say
but it's something I've been meaning to say to you
for a while.
You're a has-been
that never was,
or will be.