Lyrics:

RIFF:
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringing up-ke
That get us out of hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses, naturally we're punks!

RIFF and QUARTET:
Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset
We never had the love that every child ought to get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good!

RIFF:
There is good!

ALL:
There is good, there is good
There is untapped good
Like inside the worst of us is good

SNOWBOY(imitating Krupke):
That's a touchin' good story!

RIFF: Lemme tell it to the world!

SNOWBOY ("Krupke"):
Just tell it to the judge!

RIFF (to "Judge"):
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all the marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad

DIESEL ("Judge"):
Right!
Officer Krupke, you're really a square
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed
He's psychologic'ly disturbed!

RIFF:
I'm disturbed!

ALL:
We're disturbed, we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed

DIESEL ("Judge"):
In the opinion of this court, this child is
depraved on account
he ain't had a normal home

RIFF: Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

DIESEL ("Judge"): So take him to a headshrinker.
You!

ACTION: Who me?

RIFF (to "Psychiatrist"):
My daddy beats my mommy
My mommy clobbers me
My grandpa is a Commie
My grandma pushes tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

ACTION ("psychiatrist"):
Yes!
Officer Krupke, he shouldn't be here!
This boy don't need a couch, he needs a useful career
Society's played him a terrible trick
"Und" sociogically he's sick!

RIFF:
I am sick!

ALL:
We are sick, we are sick
We are sick sick sick
Like we're sociologically sick!

ACTION ("psychiatrist"):
In my opinion this child don't need to have
his head shrunk at all
Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease!

RIFF: Hey, I got a social disease!

ACTION ("psychiatrist"):
So take him to a social worker!
Vich way? Zat vay!

RIFF (to "Social Worker"):
Dear kindly social worker
They tell me get a job
Like be a soda jerker
Which means like be a slob
It's not I'm anti-social
I'm only anti-work
Glory Osky, that's why I'm a jerk!

A-RAB (imitating female social worker):
Eek!
Officer Krupke, you've done it again
This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen.
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside him, he's no good!

RIFF:
I'm no good!

ALL:
We're no good, we're no good
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good!

DIESEL:
The trouble is he's lazy!

A-RAB:
The trouble is he drinks!

BABY JOHN:
The trouble is he's crazy!

A-RAB:
The trouble is he stinks!

BIG DEAL:
The trouble is he's growing

ACTION:
The trouble is he's grown!

ALL:
Krupke, we got troubles of our own!
Officer Krupke
We're down on our knees

RIFF:
'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease!

ALL:
Gee, Officer Krupke
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke
Krup you!