Lyrics:

All his exes gather 'round, they rub against my ankles.
They're warm and soft, they make nice sounds
They know their pleases and their thank-yous

All his exes call him up to talk about whatever
They want advice on boys and life
He picks them up when they're under the weather

He always says when he hangs up that in the battle of the sexes,
it makes him feel so good that he's still friends with all his exes.

All his exes throw a party on his birthday every year.
They reminisce and drink champagne,
I make sure I bring my own beer.

I smile politely and check my watch but I notice he never checks his
it makes him feel so good that he's still friends with all his exes.

It occurred to me the other day and i just have to put this bluntly
the only exes that I'm still friends with are the two that still want me.

He spends so much time with other girls that I always have suspected
Perhaps I would be better off as one of all his exes.