Lyrics:

When you wake up in the morning and you're just feeling crap
Wi' fits or faints or fevers - don't get into a flap
For tinnitus or shingles or a lack of inner calm
The cure is in a bottle of the Bruichladdich dram

The Bruichladdich dram, the Bruichladdich dram
The cure is in a bottle of the Bruichladdich dram

If life isn't quite turning out the way you'd planned
The people that you work with are like the Klu Klux Klan
The kids are bad, the wife is mad and nags ad nauseam
The chances are you need a little Bruichladdich dram

The Bruichladdich dram, the Bruichladdich dram
The chances are you need a little Bruichladdich dram

When you're shuffling on your zimmer and thinking of the past
And the little time that's left seems to disappear so fast
Don't just sit there waiting for the Royal telegram
Just wrap your stiff old fingers round a Bruichladdich dram

The Bruichladdich dram, the Bruichladdich dram
Just wrap your stiff old fingers round a Bruichladdich dram

When you want to celebrate - no matter what the cause
You've done something great and deserved the applause
Your numbers have come up or you've passed a big exam
Don't pop the old champagne - pop the Bruichladdich dram

The Bruichladdich dram, the Bruichladdich dram
Don't pop the old champagne - pop the Bruichladdich dram

Now Jim has made a whisky he calls it his Black Art
It's mystical, it's magical - bewitches the heart
Soon every lass on Islay will have to buy a pram
But don't blame Islay cheese - blame the Bruichladdich dram

The Bruichladdich dram, the Bruichladdich dram
But don't blame Islay cheese - blame the Bruichladdich dram

When you're far away from Islay and wishing you were there
There's little point in fretting and pulling out your hair
A book of Whisky Legends and a CD by the Man
Kick off your shoes and pour yourself a Bruichladdich dram

The Bruichladdich dram, the Bruichladdich dram
Kick off your shoes and pour yourself a Bruichladdich dram