Lyrics:

There's a secret installation on the western seas
Cunningly disguised among the Hebrides
It might seem innocent to those who are naive
But this could bring a super power to its knees.

Now I am a US Internet spy
And I've seen what they're up to with my own eyes
They say it's only whisky but I'm tellin' you,
They tested it on the local folk and I've seen what it can do.

So be careful how you're steppin'
Round this deadly lethal weapon
And tell all the patriots it's time to enlist
We've got to take some action
'Gainst this weapon of mass distraction
Oh we can't let Al Qaeda get their hands on this.

The scary thing is it's made from a kind of grass
With biological action to give it critical mass
And if they get it up to 90 ABV
It's going to be an awesome WMD

So be careful how you're steppin'
Round this deadly lethal weapon
And tell all the patriots it's time to enlist
We've got to take some action
'Gainst this weapon of mass distraction
Oh we can't let Al Qaeda get their hands on this.

So I got me a sample and sent it to the lab
The lab report came back sayin' 'Man this stuff's not bad'
So I am defecting 'cos one thing's clear
I'd rather die from this stuff than from American beer

So be careful how you're steppin'
Round this deadly lethal weapon
And tell all the patriots it's time to enlist
We've got to take some action
'Gainst this weapon of mass distraction
Oh we can't let Al Qaeda get their hands on this.
Oh we can't let Al Qaeda get their hands on this.
Oh we can't let Al Qaeda get their hands on this.