Lyrics:

We got a Xerox Christmas letter

from the Sterling family,

Seems things in Palm Springs

are going swimmingly.

Their daughters both married doctors,

their son was Yale's Man of the Year,

Chip's business broke all records,

Buffy's a Red Cross volunteer.



We've been on their Xerox letter list

for twenty years or more,

It's been that long, at least,

since the Sterlings lived next door.

But this year my wife, Lurleen, said,

as we were sweeping up the yard,

"Let's us send a Xerox letter this year,

instead of a Christmas card!"



Howdy, y'all and Merry Christmas!



Well, we still live in the double-wide,

but Bubba's added on,

A bass-boat shed and a workshop,

and new flamingoes for the lawn,

We took down the front yard tire swing,


now that Junior's in the pen,

But it looks like a happy new year:

they moved him off death row again!



Chorus:

Xerox Christmas letters --

Oh, nothing could be better

Than to hear from folks you hardly know,

Bragging on all they have achieved.

Xerox Christmas letters --

Yeah, nothing we like better:

We read them from the glow

of our 2-foot aluminum tree.



Our youngest is at the halfway house,

once again in the family way,

This time the daddy lives beneath the bridge

on the old I-5 freeway.

And this year we all took a whirlwind tour,

but we didn't get too far:

It happened when a twister touched down

in our trailer park.



Chorus