Lyrics:

When Sunday morning dandruff turns out to be confetti
And the cost of living in sin would make a poor man out of Paul Getty
The girl of your dreams would have you up on an underage charge
And the man of the moment is a lifer at large

If you've got something to hide, if you've got something to sell
If you've got somebody's bride, she might kiss and tell
Or wind up with a fat man in a Hammersmith Hotel

You better speak up now if you want your piece
You better speak up now, it won't mean a thing later
Yesterday's news is tomorrow's fish 'n' chip paper

Your girl says she's leaving and this time she really means it
You can just look at the pictures, you don't actually have to read it
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
There's a man in the launderette and he's looking through your underwear for clues
And the milkman is working through the News of the Screws

He says...
If you've got something to hide, if you've got something to sell
If you've got somebody's bride, she might kiss and tell
Or wind up with a fat man in a Hammersmith Hotel

You better speak up now if you want your piece
You better speak up now, it won't mean a thing later
Yesterday's news is tomorrow's fish and chip paper

If you've got something to hide, if you've got something to sell
If you've got somebody's bride, she might kiss and tell
Or wind up with a fat man in a Hammersmith Hotel