Lyrics:

Well, old Virgil always was a clown,

Dumbest man in our hometown

But somehow, he got hired out at the NASA base

Then one day, against all the rules

While cleanin' up a space capsule

He closed the hatch and started playing 'man in space'



He put a space suit on and sat right down

Started flippin' switches and messin' around

A siren started blastin' and a green light was flashin'

ready

Hoses were snappin' and gas was going whoosh

And Virgil just had to give that button a push

And son-of-a-gun, he was gone like Richard Petty

Vrroom, Oooh....Ma-Maaaaa!!



(Chorus)

Hello, Houston, we got a problem

Get Gladys on the phone

Somebody tell her where I'm at

And how long I'll be gone

Remind her she needs to feed my dogs

Milk the cow and slop them hogs

Hello, Houston, we got a problem

How y'all gonna git' me back home? Huh?



Well, we saw it right there on TV

My wife, my kids, the dog and me

On a broadcast from outer space on the evening news

Oh, Virgil wasn't havin' any fun

He'd run down the batteries in his Star Wars gun

And was turning green in various shades and hues



He said, 'Boys you better get me down quick

'Cause I'm afraid I'm gonna be sick

And I don't think that I can take much more of this

Lord, all I do is float around

Half the time I think I'm upside down, ya know

I need to throw up but I don't know where up is!'



(Bridge)

Hello, Redneck One, Redneck One, this is mission

control

Stand by, Virgil, we're about to execute your re-

entry...

'Execute me? Lord have mercy

Couldn't you just dock me a couple of days' pay?


Ohh, here we go again!'

(Mama plays turnaround)



(Chorus)

Hello, Houston, we got a problem

I think we got a flat tire

I just looked out that little round window

And the whole capsule's afire

Everything's shakin' and burnin' hot

If you're gonna execute me, I'd just as soon be shot!

Hello, Houston we got a problem

I'm droppin' like a fallin' star



Well, give NASA credit, they got him back

And of course, he was immediately sacked

And we were all amazed at the fame Virgil's ride had

brought

But ole Virgil knew just how to work it

'Cause next thing you know he's on the talk show

circuit

Billin' himself as the redneck astronaut



(Chorus)

Hello, Oprah, we got a problem

Montel's on the other phone

Yeah, he wants to book me, too

So does 20/20 and Jenny Jones

Now, I'm sure that we can work it out in time

Just have your people talk to mine

Hello, Oprah, I gotta go now

Sixty Minutes is on the phone



(Recite during fade)

'Hey, Sixty Minutes, yeah! Aw, I'd love to, but you

know I gotta' have that first segment- and Mike Wallace

has gotta' host it! Uh-huh, well o.k. Fine then! We'll

give it to Dateline. Uh-huh, what's that? Aww, well

that's more like it! Yeah, well I kinda thought you'd

see it my way. I mean after all, it does make sense

don't it? Space suit? Yeah, I got a space suit. Well,

it's not a real space suit, but you can't tell the

difference from three feet away. Gladys made it fer me.

Yeah, she's got one of them sewin' machines that does

all that fancy stuff.'