Lyrics:

Gather 'round!)

Punch and Judy did it truly and were married in a haste
In love, maybe, using the baby as a kind of romance paste
She's grown fatter, her hair cut shorter, looks much older than nineteen
He's a drinker not a thinker, baby spoiled his could have been

This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
'Cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
oh oh oh oh!
Punch and Judy

Punch and Judy in a semi on a brand new council plot
Sunday lunchtime, beer-for-Punch time, while his dinner's far from hot
She grows tired, cab is hired, she goes round to see her friend
He comes back late, fool is irate, we will see his temperament

Punch and Judy in a quandary, she's walked out and he is mad
Now he's grown up, can't smash home up, retribution must be had
Punch and Judy had a baby who brought them to married bliss
Mr Punch has drunken hunch that he must punish kid for this

Punch and Judy