Lyrics:

I saw a garage salePulled up in the yardFound a statue of JesusIt was eight feet tallHe held out his armsAnd he seemed all aloneSo I loaded him upAnd drove him homeOut by my driveway heLooks down the streetWith his long hair and sandals madeOf rebar and concreteI painted him white with a long purple robeHe's a rock of ages on our gravel roadChorusHe's an eight-hundred pound JesusStanding taller than a treeHe's an eight-hundred pound JesusA bigger man than you or meI thought loosin' my job wasThe end of the worldTill my best pal ran off with my best girlI felt suicidal with no real friendsSo I walked outside with a rope in my handOut by that statue there's a big old treeSo I stood on his shouldersAnd I counted to threeI had every intention of buying the farmBut when I jumped off he caught me in his armsChorusI wanted to return the favor to himCause I never had a more solid friendSo I planted some flowersAll around his feetAnd I bought him a flockOf ceramic sheepChorusHe's a bigger manThan you or me