Lyrics:

This is just a hypothetical story
Of someone, let's just say it's me
I'd gain acceptance for my murderous ways
By stalking a defenseless prey

If I were a killer, I'd smile just like the boy next door
If I were a killer, I'd say I do it for the poor
If I were a killer, You'd bring me victims more and more
If I were a killer!

Supreme Court would agree to hear my case
And find me innocent of crime
Holding public rallies to incite sympathy
Creative actuality

If I were a killer, I'd hide behind a doctor's door
If I were a killer, I'd scrape you off my office floor