Lyrics:

'Hold it!
We've gotta prove we're adults now
We're not a punk rock band, we're a new wave band!'

I'm tired of self-respect, I can't afford a car
I wanna be a prefab superstar
I wanna be a tool, don't need no soul
Wanna make big money, playing rock and roll

I'll make my music boring, I'll play my music slow
I ain't no artist; I'm a businessman
No ideas of my own
I won't offend or rock the boat
Just sex and drugs and rock and roll

And here we go
And drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my Payola!
Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my Payola!

You'll pay ten bucks to see me on a fifteen-foot-high stage
Fat-ass bouncers kick the shit out of kids who try to dance
If my friends say I've lost my guts
I'll laugh and say, 'That's rock and roll!'

But there's just one problem...

Is my cock big enough
Is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star?
Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far
Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far

And when I'm rich and meet Bob Hope
We'll shoot some golf and shoot some dope

Is my cock big enough
Is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star?
Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far
Guitar!


'Everybody, put your hands together!'
Is my cock big enough
Is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star?
'Everybody, sing it one time!'
Is my cock big enough, is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star?
'Shut up and dance, everybody!'

Is my cock big enough
Is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star?
Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far
'One more time!'

Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far

And drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my Payola!
Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my Payola!

'Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen
We sure do love you, we'll see you next time
Having a good time playing good and loud rock and roll!'