Lyrics:

Barney works down at the A&P
He drives a baby blue A.M.C.
Ain't missed a day of work in 13 years
He's a fire department volunteer
He's got a yard that's always just been mowed
Collected stamps since he was 10 years old
You've never seen a more regular guy
But when the sun goes down on Friday night

(chorus)

Slaps on his Hai Karate after shave
Puts on his Elvis jacket custom-made
Gets in his patent zebra boots
Fires up a super sport Malibu
He burns the rubber cross the county line
A honky tonkin' fool till closing time
You ought to see him metemorphosize
From Barney Jekyll into Bubba Hyde

Monday mornin' it's a suit and tie
Attention shoppers there's a two for one buy
Tuesday afternoon he mans the wheel
Makes his rounds in the bookmobile

He's got a Wednesday night canasta game
Thursday's the tourney at the bowling lanes
His friends would freak out if they only knew
The party animal he turns into

(chorus