Lyrics:

Why don't you sit right back
And I, I may tell you a tale
A tale of three little pigs
And a big bad wolf

Well the first little piggy, well he was kinda hick-y
Spent most of his days just a-dreamin' of the city
And then one day, he bought a guitar
He moved to Hollywood to become a star
But living on the farm, he knew nothing of the city
Built his house out of straw, what a pity
Then one day, jammin' on some chords
Along came the wolf knocking on his door

Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin!
Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin!
Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in!

Well the second little piggy, well he was kinda stoned
He spent most of his time just a-ganja smokin'
Hoppin' and a-boppin' down on Venice Beach
Getting paid money for religious speech
Built his shelter from what he garbage picked
Mostly made up of old cans and sticks
Then one day he was cranking up Bob Marley
Along came the Wolf on his big bad Harley

Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin!
Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin!
Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in!

Well the third little piggy, the grade A student
His daddy was a rock star, named Pig Nugent
Earned his Master's degree from Harvard College
Built his house from his architect knowledge
A tri-level mansion, Hollywood Hills
Daddy's rock stardom paid for the bills
Then one day came the old house smasher
The big bad wolf, the little piggy slasher

Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin!
Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin!
Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in!

Well the big bad wolf
Well he huffed, and he puffed, all that he could
And lo and behold, the little piggy's house stood
'It's made out of concrete,' the little piggy shouted
The wolf just frowned as he pouted
So they called nine-eleven, like any piggy would
They sent out Rambo, just as fast as they could

'Yo, Wolf-face. I'm your worst nightmare. Your ass is mine!'
(gunshots)

Well the wolf fell dead as you can plainly see
And that's the end of this story, for you and me
If you still give a listen, you just may
Hear the big wolf or little piggies say

Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin!
Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin!
Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in!
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in!
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in!
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in!

And the moral of the story is that bands with no talent can easily amuse idiots with a stupid puppet show