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Lyrics:
i'm staring out into that vacuum again from the back porch of my mind the only thing that's alive i'm all there is and i start attacking my vodka stab the ice with a straw my eyes have turned red as stoplights you seem ready to walk you know i'll call you eventually when i wanna talk till then you're invisible
cause there's a switch that gets hit & it all stops making sense. & in the middle of drinks, maybe the 5th or the 6th, i'm completely alone at a table of friends. i feel nothing for them. i feel nothing. nothing.
well, i need a break from the city again I think I'll ship myself back west. I got a friend there, she says 'hey, any time.' unless that offers expired, i have been less than frequent. she's under no obligation to indulge every whim & i'm so ungrateful, i take, she gives &forgives. & i keep forgetting it. & each morning she wakes with a dream to describe, something lovely that bloomed from her beautiful mind. I said 'I'll trade you one for two nightmares of mine. i have some where i die. I have some where we all die.'
I'm thinking of quitting drinking again, i know i said that a couple of times. &i'm always changing my mind, well, i guess i am. but there's this burn in my stomach & there's this pain in my side. & when i kneel at the toilet, &the mornings clean light pours in through the window sometimes i pray i don't die. I'm a goddamn hypocrite.
but the night rolls around &it all starts making sense. there is no right way or wrong way, you just have to live. so i do what i do & at least I exist. what could mean more than this? what could mean more? mean more? ooh.
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