Lyrics:

My heart is paralyzed
My head was over-sized
I'll take the high road like I should

You said it's meant to be
That it's not you, it's me
You're leaving now for my own good

That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say

She went down in an airplane
Fried getting suntanned
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!

She met a shark underwater
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say goodbye

My pride still feels the sting
You were my everything
Someday I'll find a love like yours (a love like yours)

She'll think I'm Superman
Not super minivan
How could you leave on Yom Kippur?

That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say

She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!

She dried up in the desert
Drowned in a hot tub
Danced to death at an eastside nightclub
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say goodbye

I wanna live a thousand lives with you
I wanna be the one you're dying to... love
But you don't want to

That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say
That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say

She went down in an airplane
Fried getting suntanned
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!

She met a shark underwater
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies!

She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!

She dried up in the desert
Drowned in a hot tub
Danced to death at an eastside nightclub
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say goodbye