Lyrics:

Toupée or not toupée, that is the question
It refused to stay as it all turned gray
Oh William Shakespeare's receding hair
Please excuse the pun: it's hair today, gone tomorrow
So, be thankful for what precious locks you have

Toupée or not toupée, that is the question
And by the way, I just gotta say,
thank the Lord I'm not going bald!
And if I may quip, my curls and I are just like heaven
'cause rest assured, there'll be no parting there

But should my head get bare like Friar Tuck
Hard chase to swallow, it makes me smile
'cause I know just what I'd do
Yeah, if I had more wigs than I knew what to do with,
I'd open a secondhand store

And if you ever went bald,
you'd recall it 'cause I'd cleverly call it
rugs from me to you