Lyrics:

when i was young i used to be as fine a man as ever you'd see
the prince of wales he said to me: 'come and join the british army'
toora loora loora loo, they're looking for monkeys up at the zoo
'if i had a face like you, i'd join the british army'

sarah comden baked a cake, it was all for poor oul slattery's sake
i threw herself into the lake, pretending i was barmy
toora loora loora loo, it was the only thing i could do
to work my ticket home to you and fuck the british army'

corporal lennegan got such a drought, just give him a couple of jars of stout;
he'll kill the enemy with his mouth and save the british army.
too ra loo ra loo ra loo, me curse is on the labour crew;
they took your darling boy from you to join the british army.

kilted soldier's wear no drawers, ladies, will you lend them yours?
the poor should always help the poor, god save the british army!
toora loora loora loo, they're looking for monkeys up at the zoo
'if i had a face like you, i'd join the british army'

captain heeley went away and his wife got in the family way,
and all the words that she would say was 'blame the british army.'
too ra loo ra loo ra loo, i've made me mind up what to do
i'll work my ticket home to you and fuck the british army

when i was young i used to be as fine a man as ever you'd see
the prince of wales he said to me: 'come and join the british army'
too ra loo ra loo ra loo, i've made me mind up what to do
i'll work my ticket home to you and fuck the british army