Lyrics:

Well the pirates are all tired,
its time to give up life at sea.
Theyve all bought property in the neighbourhood,
theyll be living next to you and me.
The PTA had a meeting today
about the children and they dont know what to do,
and the clergymen say what about the church, then?
And the cops are shaking in their boots.
St. Francis doesnt have a chance,
this is not fair this is not right.
You landlubbers, lock your cupboards,
keep your daughters out of sight.
Those pirates have chlamydia,
and their hair is full of lice.
And in a few short weeks this nice little town
Will be ridden with sin and vice.

There wont be many smiling faces
and things will get a little out of hand.
Yo-ho, make way for chaos
when the pirates come to land.

Their clothes are strange,
and I heard they never change,
and their names are hard to say.
And once they come and settle down,
theyll never go away.
I never put a stock in the character
of the seafaring, ship-going sort.
With their ---ings and their peg legs
and their stink of --- sort.
Who knows, they might be murderers
or pedophiles or godless communists.
Or worse, they might be liberals
and we just cant take that risk.
Cause with every eye patch,
every skull and cross-bones flag,
every funny pointed hat and every sword,
theres one more reason to show them all the door.

There wont be many smiling faces
and things will get a little out of hand.
Yo-ho, make way for chaos
when the pirates come to land.
There wont be many smiling faces
and things will get a little out of hand.
Yo-ho, make way for chaos
when the pirates come to land.