Lyrics:

[Narration]

You know, religious people have such beautiful music and art;
And athiests really have nothing...

Until now!

A little tune called 'Athiests Don't Have No Songs'

[Lyrics]

(Christians have)
Christians have their hymns and pages.
(Hymns and pages)
Hava Nagila's for the Jews.
(For the Jews)
Baptists have the rock of ages.
(Rock of ages)
Atheists just sing the blues.

(Romantics play)
Romantics play Claire de Lune.
(Claire de Lune)
Born agains sing He is risen.
But no one ever wrote a tune.
(Wrote a tune)
For godless existentialism.
(For godless existentialism)

For Atheists,
There's no good news.
They'll never sing,
A song of faith.

In their songs,
They have a rule.
The 'he' is always lowercase.
The 'he' is always lowercase.

(Some folks sing)
Some folks sing a Bach cantata.
(Bach cantata)
Lutherans get Christmas trees.
Atheist songs add up to nada.
(Up to nada)
But they do have Sundays free.
(Have Sundays free)

(Pentecostals sing)
Pentecostals sing, sing to heaven,
(Sing to heaven)
Gothics had the books of scrolls,
(Numerologists count)
Numerologists count, count to seven,
(Count to seven)
Atheists have rock and roll.

For Atheists,
There's no good news.
They'll never sing,
A song of faith.

In their songs,
They have a rule.
The 'he' is always lowercase.
The 'he' is always lowercase.

Atheists
... Atheists
... Atheists
Don't Have No SONGS!

(Christians have)
Christians have their hymns and pages.
(Hymns and pages)
Hava Nagila's for the Jews.
(For the Jews)
Baptists have the rock of ages.
(Rock of ages)
Atheists just sing the blues.

Catholics,
Dress up for Mass.
And listen to,
Gregorian chants.

Atheists,
Just take a pass.
Watch football in their underpants.
Watch football in their underpants.

Atheists
... Atheists
... Atheists
Don't Have No SONGS!
(Don't Have No Songs)