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Lyrics:
You start off in the womb, yeah, where it's nice and warm Things are lookin' good, then it's time to be born The doctor yanks you out and slaps you on the butt And before you know it, your umbilical cord is cut They drag you from your mama, wheel you down the hall To a room full of babies, who just lie there and bawl
Lyin' in a diaper, feelin' like a fool Things'll get much worse when it's time to go to school You're crammed into a classroom with 30 other kids Good you get nothing-bad you get hit Nobody likes you and the classroom is cold You're stuck with a textbook that's 35 years old The bullies beat you up the teachers put you down You're sittin' in the corner don't dare make a sound If you learn one thing, you'd better learn to curse 'Cuz from now on your life gets even worse
Now you are older and have to get a job You will buy a house you will buy a Saab You'll get up in the morning you will feel like dyin' As the years go rollin' by, you'll slowly lose your mind You were once a young man, but now you're turnin' grey From listening to people talk about the judgment day
Now you've retired, goodbye to your job And you've lost your teeth, goodbye to corn-on-the-cob You'll look back on your life and all the things you did Standin' in the yard, yellin' at the neighbor kids
Now you're kickin' back don't have a care You will see the world from your Craft-matic chair You'll move to Arizona where all the old folks go You will vote Republican you'll see UFO's The one day you die you find your self in hell with the lake-o'-fire and that awful brimstone smell You were really good, but you weren't good enough Yes, living isn't easy, but dying's really tough Then you'll look around and see how it's gonna be Yes, my friend, you're screwed for all eternity
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