Lyrics:

Hey, girl
I've got somethin' real important to give you
So just sit down, and listen

Girl, you know we've been together, such a long, long time (Such a long time)
And now I'm ready, to lay it on the line
Well, you know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide (Open wide)
Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind (What's on my mind)
A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside - it's my dick in a box (It's in a box)

Not gonna get you a diamond ring
That sort of gift don't mean anything
Not gonna get you a fancy car
Girl, you gotta know you're my shining star
Not gonna get you a house in the hills
A girl like you needs somethin' real
Wanna get you somethin' from the heart
(Somethin' special girl)

It's my dick in a box! My dick in a box, girl
It's my dick in a box! Ooh, my dick in a box, girl
See, I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs givin' (Yeah)
And I got just the one
Somethin' to show ya that you are second to none

To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
It's easy to do, just follow these steps
One - cut a hole in a box
Two - put your junk in that box
Three - make her open the box
And that's the way you do it

It's my dick in a box! My dick in a box, babe
It's my dick in a box! Ooh, my dick in a box, girl

Christmas; dick in a box
Hanukkah; dick in a box
Kwanzaa; a dick in a box
Every single holiday; a dick in a box
Over at your parent's house; a dick in a box
Midday at the grocery store; a dick in a box
Backstage at the CMA's; a dick in a box
Yeah, well, well, well, well, well, well, well
My dick in a box, my dick in a box, my dick in a box!