Lyrics:
Well I thought about the armyDad said, Son you're fuckin' highAnd I thought, yeah there's a first for everythingSo I took my old man's adviceThree sad semestersIt was only 15 grand spent in bedI thought about the armyI dropped out and joined a band insteadGrew a moustache and a mulletGot a job at Chick-fil-aCiting artistic differencesThe band broke up in MayAnd in June reformed without meAnd they'd got a different nameI nuked another grandma's apple pieAnd hung my head in shame, ohBeen thinkin' a lot today (2x)Oh, I think I'll write a screenplayOh, I think I'll take it to L.A.Oh, I think I'll get it done yesterdayAh, shitIn this time of introspectionOn the eve of my electionI say to my reflectionGod please spare me more rejection'Cause my peers they criticize meAnd my ex-wives all despise meTry to put it all behind meBut my redneck past is nipping at my heelsI've been thinking a lot today (3x)I thought about the army