Lyrics:

You may be a sharp dresser,
you may be a fantastic dancer,
you may be a lively conversationalist.
But what happens at the end of the evening
when the time comes to show how you feel?
Unless you can kiss with confidence
all your fancy dressing,
dancing and talking
won't get you a second date.

I'd meet a boy I really liked
I'd start to win his heart
But come the time to kiss goodnight
I always fell apart

I'd giggle like I had no brains
Or else I'd start to cough
I thought my perspiration stains
Would turn a fellow off

She was nervous
She was too shy
She was breathless
Lips were too dry
Hands were shaking
Didn't know why

Do you want to kiss this person?
Then be honest.
What is keeping you from
Kissing With Confidence?
Worries.
Some of them can be
put to rest by asking yourself
a few simple questions
before kissing.
Is your breath fresh?
Do you have spinach on your teeth?
Is your deodorant strong enough?
You may also find yourself
worrying about what will happen
once you are in the act of kissing.
Will your stomach growl?
Will your braces lock?
Will you be able to prolong
the kiss and still breath?

Will I spoil it with my overbite?
Will our noses bump in the moonlight?
When our lips meet, will they fit right?

These worries are best
cleared from the mind by the
Romance Chant Method.
A technique which will also
place your lips naturally
in kissing position.

Hableme el unico del mundo.
Digame: como te hace ese sonido.
Tan glorioso,
que aun hora con anticipation de el.
Me ha reductio a un bestia, grunendo.
Entusiomandose y palptando.

Practice this chant in the
morning as you rise,
in the evening as you retire,
and just before a date.

Once you have mastered these techniques,
there is only one worry left.
Will it go too far?
It never will if you remain alert
to these danger signals:
Heavy breathing,
wandering hands,
strong heartbeats.
A nice way to maintain self-control
without offending the other person
is to say:
'I am not ready to handle what
I think is coming.'
Then you can both go home and daydream.
Tomorrow you can start again fresh.
Remember,
you cannot get pregnant from kissing.

I put an and to worrying
I learned the way from Will
He taught me Kissing With Confidence
Is an acquired skill
When my boyfriends get too hot
I can cool them down
Now I'm Kissing With Confidence
Everywhere in town

In the schoolyard

At the front door

In the laundromat

At the drug store

At the car wash

In the back seat

At the Dairy Queen

On a side street
---------Once you can Kiss With Confidence,
In the basement
---------think of others these techniques will help.
On the rooftop
---------Do you know someone who drools when he kisses,
At the drive-in
---------or burps, or bites?
At the Stop'n'Shop
---------Why not do them a favor
On the back porch
---------and send them this record anonymously?
At the candy store

On the Boardwalk

By the seashore

In the balcony

At the malt shop

In the parking list

On the blacktop

Hey come on,
Want a kiss?
Pucker up!
Want another one?