Lyrics:

Once I was the King of Spain (Now I eat humble pie)
Oh... my unspeakable wife, Queen Lisa (Now I eat humble pie)
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain (Now I eat humble pie)
And now I work at the Pizza Pizza

1 2 3 4!

Royalty, lord, it looked good on me
Buried in silk in the royal boudoir or going nuclear-free
Or playing Crokinole with the Princess of Monaco
Telling my jokes to the OPEC leaders, getting it all on video

Once I was the King of Spain (Now I eat humble pie)
A palatial palace, that was my home (Now I eat humble pie)
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain (Now I eat humble pie)
And now I vacuum the turf at SkyDome

Once he was the King of Spain

I can't wait, I'm lowering interest rates! My people say:

King, how are you such a genius?

There's a roof overhead

And food on our plates!

It's laissez-faire, I don't even give a care
Let's make Friday part of the weekend
And give every new baby chocolate eclair

Once I was the King of Spain (Now I eat humble pie)
Hey, Clinton! Hey, Yeltsin! Got problems? You phone me! (Now I eat humble pie)
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain (Now I eat humble pie)
Now the Leafs call me up to drive the Zamboni

Once he was the King of Spain

Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you the international orchestra!

(Mike & Jian & Murray perform vocal solos)

Now some of you might be wondering how I came to be living in Canada after being royalty in Spain. Should I tell them, guys?

Tell us, King!

You see late one night when the palace was asleep
Out of my royal chambers and into the garden I creep
And I wait 'til the appointed time when the moon is lighting the pitch
At which point my peasant friend who looks just like me
Arrives and we make a switch!
Prince and pauper, junior and whopper
A world made up of silver and copper
Under my own volition, I took a change of position
So next time you drool in the pizza line
Remember, slower pizza's more luscious

The King of Spain never rushes!

Once I was the King of Spain (Now I eat humble pie)
I was lookin' for off-handed ways to improve us (Now I eat humble pie)
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain (Now I eat humble pie)
And now I'm jamming with Moxy Früvous!

Once he was the King of Spain
From the Liner:
(Mike-vocals, conga; Murray-vocals; Jean-vocals, bass drum, shakers, go-go bells, sheet metal; Dave-lead vocal)