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Lyrics:
'I'd like to have a mistress,' I told my wife one day 'To help me through the middle years, it would suit a man my age' And to my great astonishment, she never said a word She just looked at me as if to say 'Now don't be so absurd.' 'I'd like to have a mistress, no more than twenty one With a figure like a goddess, it would keep me feeling young. She'd make me tea in the afternoon, served on a silver tray Dressed only in her birthday suit or a skimpy negligee.'
'I'd like to have a mistress, who was tender young and chic, We'd make love in the afternoons, maybe once or twice a week. I'd leave the office early and I'd go round to her flat We'd always have champagne on ice as we'd take a bubble bath. I'd like to have a mistress who would know just what to do She'd have read the Perfumed Garden and the Kama Sutra too And the more I think about it, the more I think it wise ' My wife just looked at me and said, 'Why don't you advertise?'
'I'd like to have a mistress,' so ran the ad next day 'The work is light, the hours are short and we can discuss the pay' I waited by the phone all day but I got just one reply When she came round for an interview I could not believe my eyes At last I had a mistress who was every dream come true She was sexy, blond and beautiful, 'though she was twenty-two My wife gave her approval, she didn't seem to mind I hardly could believe my luck, they hit it off just fine.
It was nice to have a mistress, it seemed so civilized It gave a touch of spice to life, there was always some surprise But then one afternoon, I found a note upon her door Saying our affair was over, she'd not see me anymore I'd like to have a mistress who'd be a little more content And not go running off on me, not saying where she went One I could rely on, who would stay with me through life And not leave me with a note to say she ran off with my wife.
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