Lyrics:

See this is the way I meet girls y'know, I'm like being cool
And, I've always had this problem with girls and that is
I'm sure ev-everybody has with members of the opposite sex
In this case that would be a girl
And uhh, y'know, y-you start talking to 'em
And you can be real cool and real confidant up to a point
Then you start to ask them out or something
And it's like, you lose control of your lips y'know
And you get nervous and real mealy-mouthed and
Y'know it's like, 'Yeah I'll be goin' to London for a couple of weeks
And then umm, hmm, I'll be back here in two weeks no
I gotta stop in New York for six days for some business there
I'll be back here in about uhh, three weeks, so listen
When I get back, I was wondering if maybe you might mea-UHH...' {*laughter*}

Ladies that are fat, ladies that are skinny
Ladies that are all night on my jimmy
Ladies that won't charge me a buck-fiddy
Just wanna get with me cause I'm so pretty
Bitties, who wanna bite off a little sum'thin
Best part's the top like a Drew Barry muffin
Bitties that wanna turn on the love oven
And cook up a casserole of Stove Top stuffin
This type of sum'thin causin fear with my gumption
Takin out my beaker cause I'm Honeydew, Bunsen
I got ya jonesing for my potion, got my finger on the button
That's why MC be struttin
Wish I could erase this erection
Honies comin at me from every direction
Lookin for the Love Connection
A stinky sweaty sexin, with no protection
So line up the contestants
I'll open up their drawers like the kid in The Sixth Sense
I won't persist this distance, gotta get up in this
She fuckin up my Christmas!

Fuckin up my Christmas is a new way of saying
Fucking up my shit
This is not so much a holiday-oriented song
As it is an exclamation of dismay at the sight of a beautiful woman

She fuckin up my Christmas, biz-nitch
Catchin glimpses in tiny tidbits
I was fine till you was in my business
Wit'cha you volleyball booty and your frilly pink tits
Yo what up wit dis, it's mc chris
M in my name stand for Monolith
No it's not a lisp, you're a finalist
Here's a sash for that ass it says dominance
Now here's my hotel key and some common sense
Get up to my suite or you're incompetent
Do you wanna be a winner or the opposite?
So lick them lips, drop them shits, and step on it


'So listen uhh, you wanna come over to my place?
Well look just in case hell does freeze over, where can I reach you?' {*laughter*}
Okay! {*whistling and applause*}
You people are sick!