Lyrics:

Davey:
Tommy, nothing personal, but Whitey Duval should've won the Patch
tonight, and you people are crazy for not realizing that.
Tommy:
Why would we give Whitey Duval the Patch? So he could use it as a
blanket? *laughter*
Davey:
That's the reaction I thought I'd get...
Everyone in this room has been associated with Whitey, either through
basketball, or the mall, or various odd jobs he does around town for
free or at most a dollaaaar
And I'm guessing 99% of you have either laughed in Whitey's face or
ruthlessly made fun of his feet, or voice, or sister, or shortness when
he wasn't looooooking
But the next time you see him he'd still go out of his way to smile and
wave at you and ask you about your mother's operation or something
like that, because he, unlike us, actually cares about someone other
than himseeeellf
The reason I bring this uuuup to you, is because IIIII was the worst
offender..... of all
My life was simply going no where,
Then a tiny little man rushed to my side,
He should've gotten a big