Lyrics:

Davey: It all seemed so long ago

Jennifer: Young and happy don't you know

Davey: Down by the creek I would show fireflies to that girl

Jennifer: But that was back when he was nice

Davey: Before my warm heart turned to ice

Whitey: My sister's wig once had lice

Jennifer: But that was long ago

Davey: The school yard's where we were the first time I kissed her

Jennifer: He thought he got some tongue

Davey: But it was only retainer

Whitey: Eleanoar's bra is a trainer

Davey: Well, there's my family home

Jennifer: And the woods we used to roam

Whitey: The only time I had sex was on the phone

Old lady for 1-555-boobies: But that was long ago

Davey: I carved our names upon that tree

Jennifer: I loved him and he loved me

The Mayor: My darling wife was once a he

His wife: But that was long ago

Jennifer: He used to whisper in my ear

Davey: But then I started drinkin' beer

Whitey: My jewels got licked by six frisky deer

Jennifer: But now he's just a loner and a liar

Davey: And my trailers caught on fire