Lyrics:

It feels like I've been alone too long
With no girls around, my mind was wondering
Thinking of some way to release it
I looked in the kitchen, saw some Crisco oil
And that's when my blood started to boil, oh oh yeh.

Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, uh-oh
Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, oh god, what did I just do?

No one wanted to be with me
Had to make my dream come true
I wanted to hump something
I didn't know what to do.
It seemed like a good idea
And no one else was around
I stuck my weenie in a bottle,
And now I can't get it out.

(I stuck my weenie in a bottle today
got it stuck up in there all the way, yeah.
I stuck my weenie in a bottle oh no,
I can't, I can't, someone come help me out.)

It's turning purple, all the feelings gone
Now where did I put that freaking phone
Dialing 911

Please pick up, I'm in a lot of pain
This was supposed to feel good
Now I'm suffering, oh please answer...
(Denver 911- what is your emergency?)

Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, (hello)
Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, (sir, what seems to be the problem?)

No one wanted to be with me
Had to make my dream come true
I wanted to hump something
I didn't know what to do...(go on)
It seemed like a good idea
And no one else was around
I stuck my weenie in a bottle,
And now I can't get it out.

(You stuck your weenie in a bottle, oh my
you must be a really lonely, guy.
You stuck your weenie in a bottle, that's the first
Don't worry sir, we're sending somebody out.)

(No one wanted to be with him
Had to make his dream come true
He wanted to hump something)
I didn't know what to do.

(It seemed like a good idea
And no one else was around
He stuck his weenie in a bottle)
And now I can't get it out.

Stuck my weenie in a bottle today
Now, now, now I can't get it out.