Lyrics:

They come to see the dungeons here
The tourists flock from far and near
They do the tower and try the beer
The picking pockets cost your life
And every jury has a price
They bring the kids and show the wife
It makes them proud to be around
And take their summer piccies
To drink at night in Soho bars
And end up feeling sickie
And we're all making money
Lovely money
Rubber necks with cash to burn
Export criminals return
They keep on coming, never learn
They fill their diaries page by page
And make it sound so thrilling
They're hunting for the real thing
They're flushed and they are willing
And we're all making money
Lovely money
The victors of the opium wars
Now take their trips and open doors
They stand upon the actual floors
(Actual floors, actual floors)
It makes them proud to be around
And take their summer piccies
To drink at night in Soho bars
And end up feeling sickie
Whoa, we're not gonna let you play
History would go on and pay
The daughters (?)
'Through this island and treasures gate
The more popular criminals
Those darlings in the crowd
Were taken smiling
Into the tower' (More money, more money)
'Rumor has it that the bloodstains
Of Charles The 1st's decapitation
Were never actually washed from the stones'
(More money, more money)
Now off you go, away you fly
We've had your money, now goodbye
We fleeced you good we bled you dry
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, goodbye
Yyy
Yyy
Yyy
Yyy
They come to see the dungeons here
The tourists flock from far and near
An astonishing symbol of (?) Her Majesty
Off the religion is (?)
The picking pockets cost your life
They bring the kids and show the wife
Sashay into a piece of (?)
Lovely money, lovely money
Here sir, three meters of (?) bacon burgers
And here, the original armors worn by Henry
Has now been coated into (?)
So those greasy Argentinians
Who don't have freckles
Because they slide off their faces
Can't get their hands on it
How old are the mummified remains?
Well uh, fourteen years old, fifteen?
They sawed his leg off and counted the rings, you jerk
Big wow!
Pop!
And circumcision
Pop!
Your Majesty
Pop!
Me up again
Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!
These, the crowned jewels
A treachery mound of (?), arches, dangles, and doo-dahs
An astonishing symbol, the (?)
Majesty, pop, and religion
Piss off, kid
Piss off!
Big wow, right?
About a good half way of waltzing men
Uh, sashay into a piece of(?)
Covering the chiefs and saying
'That's it, this is my-
Our worth not place, m'lady'
Was (?) by one Captain Blood
Who warms your bloody tire
What are you doing that stuffed ostrich, you shit?
Utterly bizarre
Here sir, three meters of (?) bacon burgers
And here, the original armors worn by Henry
Has now been coated into (?)
So those greasy Argentinians
Who don't have freckles
Because they slide off their faces
Can't get their hands on it
How old are the mummified remains?
Well uh, fourteen years old, fifteen?
They sawed his leg off and counted the rings, you jerk
Big wow!
Pop!
And circumcision
Pop!
Your Majesty
Pop!
Me up again
Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!