Lyrics:

Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!

You-you-you-you-you!

Uno! Dos! Tres! Quatro!

My teacher asked me where my homework was and that's when I told her
'No hablo Ingles'
Policeman caught me doing ninety and that's when he pulled me over
'No hablo Ingles'

A hippie with a tambourine asking me if I could spare a dollar
'No hablo Ingles'
Some douchebag at the club tries to pick a fight and grabs my collar
'No hablo Ingles'

(One! )
When I'm not feeling it!
(Two! )
When someone's full of shit!
(Three! )
When I get cut off at the ba-a-a-a-ar!

To make a getaway
It's all you've gotta say!
(Quatro! Sinco! Seis! )
'No hablo Ingles!'
'No hablo Ingles!'
(Hey! Hey! Hey! )
'No hablo Ingles!'
'No hablo Ingles!'
(Hey! Hey! Hey! )

My nephew asked me if I'd take him to the Jonas Brothers movie
'No hablo Ingles'
Walking my dog I saw a sign that says to please pick up the doodie
'No hablo Ingles'

My mama gets mad 'cause I never call my dad on his birthday
'No hablo Ingles'
A guy walks up and says 'Donde esta casa de pepe'
... He no hablo Ingles

(One! )
So many different uses!
(Two! )
You don't need no excuses!
(Three! )
It's as easy as the third gra-a-a-a-ade!

The perfect getaway!
It's all you've gotta say!
(Quatro! Sinco! Seis! )
'No hablo Ingles!'
'No hablo Ingles!'
(Hey! Hey! Hey! )
'No hablo Ingles!'
'No hablo Ingles!'
(Hey! Hey! Hey! )

Did you brush your teeth! ?
(No hablo Ingles! )
Where'd you leave your pants! ?
(No hablo Ingles! )
Did you feed the fish! ?
(No hablo Ingles! )
Do you like my band! ?
... Wait, don't answer that

'No hablo Ingles!'
(Hey! Hey! Hey! )
'No hablo Ingles!'
'No hablo Ingles!'
(Hey! Hey! Hey! )
'No hablo Ingles!'

Do you wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies?
'No hablo Ingles!'
(Hey! Hey! Hey! )
Did one of you guys pee in the pool?
'No hablo Ingles!'

Hey! how 'bout we all get together and go to the ballet! ?
'No hablo Ingles!'
(Hey! Hey! Hey! )
'No hablo Ingles!'
... Can I borrow that beer?
'No hablo Ingles!'

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
'No hablo Ingles!'
(Hey! Hey! Hey! )
'No hablo Ingles!'
'No hablo Ingles!'