Lyrics:

Bill: Im Bill S. Preston, Esq.! And this is Ted 'Theodore' Logan!
BT: And we are Wyld Stallyns!
DeNomolos: I am DeNomolos. Now . . . what is your mission?
Evil Bill: First we totally kill Bill and Ted!
Evil Ted: Yeah, then we take over their lives.
Evil Bill: Hes totally a robot!
Evil Ted: So are you, dude!
Evil Bill: Whoa, were total metalheads!
DeNomolos: Destroy that ridiculous, insipid band!
Evil BT: Death to Bill and Ted!
Reaper: Get down with your bad self!
DeNomolos: You fools! Are we ready?
Reaper: Get down with your bad self!
DeNomolos: You fools!
Evil BT: Yeah, totally!
Reaper: Get down with your bad self!
DeNomolos: You fools! Are we ready?
Evil Ted: Ive got a full on robot chubby.

Evil BT: Hows it goin, Bill and Ted?
Bill: Ted... its us again!
Ted: Whoa!
Bill: Youre metal, dude!
Evil Bill: I know! Check it out! Were totally gonna kill you now!
BT: Whoa...
Evil Bill: Ha ha ha!
Ted: Dudes, even though youre doing this, we... we...
Bill: We love you!
Evil BT: Fags!
Bill: You dick, Bill!
Evil Bill: I know! Lets waste em.
BT: Aaaahhhhh!!!
Reaper: Get down with your bad self!
Rufus: Bogus
Evil Bill: Stellar, Evil Ted!
BT: No way!
Reaper: Get down with your bad self!
Rufus: Bogus
Bill: Yeah!
Reaper: Get down with your bad self!
Rufus: Bogus
Evil Bill: Stellar, Evil Ted!
BT: No way!
Evil Bill: I totally loogied on that good, dead me!

Ted: Bill, what happened?
Bill: Ted, were dead, dude!
BT: Whoa!
Ted: Who are you?
Bill: Ted, its the Grim Reaper, dude!
Ted: Oh. Hows it hangin, Death? Weve got to get back to the babes!
Bill: Ted, we cant . . . were dead, dude!
Ted: Weve got to stop those evil uss! Weve gotta try!
Bill: But how?
BT: Melvin!
Reaper: They melvined me!

Ted: Dude, I totally broke a rock!*
Bill: Excellent!*
Ted: I kinda like this* . . . Whos that?
Bill: Ted, who do you think it is?
Ted: Hows it goin, Beelzebub? Excellent rocks!*
Bill: We totally broke some.*
Ted: Okay, can we go now?
BT: Whoa!
Bill: Thanks dude! You know, youve got a bad rap.
Colonel Oates: Gentlemen! Welcome to Hell!
Ted: Dude.
Bill: What?
Ted: I think were in our own personal hell!
Easter bunny: You stole Deacons Easter basket!
Little Ted: No way!
Granny S. Preston, Esq: How about a kiss?
Little Bill: Bogus!
Bill: You ugly red source of all evil!
Granny S. Preston, Esq: All I want is one! Right on the lips!
Colonel Oates: Get back here!
BT: AHHHHHH!!!!!! WHOAAAAA!!!!!!!
Bill: That was non-non-non-non heinous!

Evil Bill: You suck, dude!*
Bill: Do something else, dude!*
Ted: Yeah!*
Bill: Not bad, dude!
BT: Excellent!

Reaper: Get down with your bad self!
Bill inside Sergeant: Whoa, donuts!
Ted inside Captain Logan: I totally possessed my dad!
Reaper: Get down with your bad self!
Ted inside Captain Logan: Excellent!
Bill inside Sergeant: I totally believe you, dude!
Reaper: Get down with your bad self!
Bill inside Sergeant: Whoa, donuts!
Ted inside Captain Logan: I totally possessed my dad!
Bill: You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweed!
Evil Bill: Thats right, lesser developed human prototype uss!*
Bill: Lets get em, Ted!
Ted: Ahhhhh, yeah, no!
Colonel Oates: Get em Granny!
BT: Weve got to face them.
Colonel Oates: Now get going!
Various moans and groans of fears being defeated.

Bill: Kiss your fears, dudes!
Ted: Or offer em a honeybun or something. And theyll get smaller and maybe theyll even go away!*
Bill: Yeah, theyre not that bad, dude. So dont get programmed by anybody but yourself!*
BT: Lets rock!
Rufus: And most important, do not do your homework without wearing headphones!
Evil BT: Catch you later, Bill Ted!
Colonel Oates crying.