Lyrics:

The shipping forecast issued by the Met Office
At 0130 on Friday the 20th of November

There are warnings of gales in all areas except Trafalgar

The general synopsis at 0800

Low east of humber 942 expected Fair Isle 954 by 0600 tomorrow.
New low expected 100 miles west of Shannon 974 by same time

Now the area forecasts for the next 168 hours

Viking North Utsire South Utsire
Southeasterly 3. Rain at times. Visability good. Calm

Forties Cromarty Forth Tyne Dogger
East or southeast 6 to gale 8. Hesitation. Rain or showers. Hope. Moderate or good

Fisher German Bight
Southeasterly veering southwesterly 4. Rain later.
Rising temperature. Pressure building.
Wild speculation. Good

Humber Thames
Southeasterly 5 to 7, occasionally gale 8,
Caution veering southwesterly later.
Goosebumps. Dizzy spells. Still good

Dover Wight
Southeasterly veering southwesterly 7 or severe gale 9.
Head-on impact. Continents collide. Atoms split.
Dilated pupils. Elation. Vertigo. Visibility zero.

Portland Plymouth Biscay
Southeasterly becoming cyclonic 6 to gale 8. Snow falling. Defences breached. Icelandic calm. Rapture.
Good becoming moderate

Finisterre
South veering southwest 7 to severe emotional freefall 9, stomach cramps increasing 5 or 6.
Rain then thundery showers. Bruising. Discord. Structural damage. Moderate becoming poor.

Sole Lundy Fastnet
Southwesterly 7 to severe gale 9 decreasing 5 or 6.
Confusion reigns. Nausea. Boiling seas.
Showers becoming thundery. Extreme low

Extreme low

Irish Sea
Southwesterly 7 to severe gale 9 decreasing 5 or 6.
Squally showers. Blank patches. Confusion reigns.
Moderate becoming poor

South Shannon
Southwesterly 6 to gale 8, occasionally severe gale 9.
Nerves shattered. Self reproach. Rain or showers. No change.

North Shannon South Rockall
Southeasterly veering wildly 7 or gale 8,
Decreasing perception. Rain then showers. Drunken haze.
Cold comfort. Moderate becoming good

North Rockall
Mainly westerly 6 to gale 8. Rain or thundery showers. Exhaustion. Boredom. Decay.
Moderate or poor

Malin Hebrides
Cyclonic becoming reality, occasionally gale 8,
Backing southerly later. Broken and disorientated.
Rain or showers. Moderatation lacking

Bailey
Southerly veering westerly 6 or 7, decreasing 4 or 5. Numb. Defeated. Freezing fog. Stranded.
Dull aches. Poorly

Fair Isle Faeroes
Southeasterly becoming cyclonic, then westerly 5 to 7,
Toil, occasional stupidity.
Sullen. Rain. Moderate or good

Southeast Iceland
Southeasterly 5 to 7, twisted occasionally gale 8,
Veering westerly in south. Corroded and empty. Ice forming.

Heligoland
Planet-struck and spellbound.
The wreck of matter and the crush of worlds.