Lyrics:

Memories are wonderful things, for sure.

I have a lot of them, I'm able to hold on to most of them,
but some of the short-term ones are slipping away from me.

Really.

Now see, that's applause that one knows is not encouragement.

I'm uh, I'm actually, probably, the first declaired victim of this thing called CMS.
I don't know if you've heard of it, it's the Crumbling Mind Syndrome.

I first began to notice it, when, when I would bring out a bunch of stuff, in both arms
plus a cup of coffee, and get into the car, having set the cup of coffee on the roof, then
as I backed out of the driveway, this brown stream ran over my windshield.

Judging from your response, I think we could probably start a support group here.

If you want to know if you've got CMS, well ask yourself this question: 'how high is the stack of magazines next to my bed?'.

See, I just think there's an information glut. We're just overwhelmed by stuff...I mean, the fact that I have a Feburary issue of Ski magazine...and I don't even ski, you know. But I got it for free, and I'm not going to throw it away, y'know?

The really telling moment for me though, was standing in the middle of the kitchen one day, wondering why I was standing in the middle of the kitchen. Has that ever
happened to you?

A-ha!

And I don't know why, but after a few minutes, and I realized I wasn't going to
remember what it was I came there for, I picked up something. Anything. Took it
back with me where I used to be, kinda validate the trip, y'know? As if somebody
was watching.

Of course, then I did what I'll bet you do. I went back to the exactly the spot it was that I was standing on when I thought of the thing that I was trying to remember.

So, I went back to work, and of course, the moment I went back to work, then I remembered what it was. Well, now I had three choices.

I could try to get back to the kitchen, it's only 45 seconds away, but we all know what happened the last time, right?

Okay, so I've got two practical choices.

First of the practical choice is 'the Mantra'. I can chant what it is I'm trying to remember all the way to the kitchen. God forbid the phone should ring.

Okay, so maybe I've only got one practical way, and that's to write it down on a pad of paper with a pencil...now that works unless, of course, what you're trying to remember to get from the kitchen is a pad of paper and a pencil.

Well, anyways, your response is not unusual. I mean really, everybody I have mentioned this to understands. It's something that strikes us, y'know, even in our mid-30's.

I used to have it when I was, mid-20's?

Anyway, I realize that you could start a support group here, but you'd probably never remember where the meetings are.

So, why don't, why don't we do it like nationally? Y'know, we could like do it on tv 'cause I still remember where the tv room is.

We could watch, y'know, people get up and they can say like 'Hi, my name is Fred Smart, and I'm a victim of....what was it they called that? Oh, gee, I can't remember'

But I got to thinking...if we have a national organization, we need a banner behind the podium. And, I couldn't really think of anything to put on the banner until I heard
about this quote that just went in to Bartlett's Book of Quotations.

I'll give you the quote, then I'll tell you who said it because, really, it's one of our contemporaries. The quote is:

'What a waste it is to lose one's mind, or not to have a mind as being very wasteful'

How true it is...Dan Quayle.

Hey, you gotta admit...sometimes he's got a way with words.

I don't think any of us could have said it any better. I think we're talking national
spokesperson.

Besides, he might be looking for a job.