Lyrics:

I go to college, that makes me so cool
I live in a dorm and show off by the pool
I join the right clubs just to build an impression
I block out thinking, it won't get me ahead

My ambition in life
Is to look good on paper
All I want is a slot
In some big corporation

John Belushi's my hero, I lampoon and I ape him
My news of the world comes from Sports Illustrated
I'm proud of my trophies like my empty beer cans
Stacked in rows up the wall to impress all my friends

No, I'm not here to learn
I just want to get drunk
And major in business
And be taught how to fuck

Win, win
I always play to win
Wanna fit in like a cog
In a faceless machine

I'm a terminal terminal terminal preppie
Terminal terminal terminal preppie
Terminal terminal terminal terminal
Terminal terminal terminal terminal

I want a wife with tits
Who just smiles all the time
In my centerfold world
Filled with Springsteen and wine

Someday I'll have power
Someday I'll have boats
A tract in some suburb
With Thanksgivings to host

I'm a terminal terminal terminal preppie
Terminal terminal terminal preppie