D.I.V.O.R.C.E - 22/11/1975 1 week at #1 - 10 weeks on chart
Some weeks ago I heard this song This song I'm about to do and I couldn't keep my hands off it
Our little dog is six years old And he's smart as any damned kid But when you mention the V.E.T. He damned near flips his lid Words like S.H.O.T shot Or W.O.R.M worm These are words that make him S.Q.U.I.R.M squirm
His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E. starts today Coz he bit the V.E.T. And then he ran away He caused me and my wife To have a big fight And then both of them bit me And that's why I am Gonna get a D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
She shouted get him Rover And he jumped over And bit my L.E.G. She sank her teeth in my B.U.M. And called me a *?**? Well I'm telling you That was my cue To get O.F.F.ski And I'm going down to the town tonight To get a new B.I.R.D.
Oh yes His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E. starts today Both my wife and my wee scabby dog Will soon be hauled away That's why I spell out all of these words So as my dog can't hear Oh I must admit that dog is actin' Q.U.E.R. queer Oh yes I must admit my dog is actin' Q.U.E.R. queer