Lyrics:

(Difford/Tilbrook)



She was frigid like a Bible

When she met her boyfriend Michael

He took her in his Zephyr

They sat like salt and pepper

Looking out across the city

From Lover's Leap is pretty

The lights they flick and flutter

He told her how he loved her

Next night he called for her

But Dad protected daughter

And told him she was poorly

A lie was told there surely

So Michael felt rejected

This wasn't quite expected

He drove off to his local

Where he felt anti-social



She cried all night at missing

The boy she could be kissing

While he was falling over

He drunk himself back sober

And went home in a taxi

And crashed out in the back seat

He slept just like a baby

Which he hadn't done just lately

He saw her in the morning

Out with his sister Pauline

She felt all shy and soppy

He acted cool and cocky

He said tonight at Charlie's

There's going to be a party

I'll meet you at half seven

She visualised the heaven



If you ever change your mind

Which you do from time to time

Never chew a pickle

With a little slap and tickle

You have to throw the stone

To get the pool to ripple



That night they danced together

It looked like love forever

He put his hand on her leg

You should have heard what she said

He tried again much later

It seemed to aggravate her

He drove home in silence

Avoiding all violence

She said let's watch the city

From Lover's Leap is pretty

I think I need the fresh air

She put a comb through her hair

Then while she turned to kiss him

And very nearly missed him

She put her hand on his leg

He felt her tongue in his head



If you ever change your mind

Which you do from time to time

Never chew a pickle

With a little slap and tickle

You have to throw the stone

To get the pool to ripple