Lyrics:

You know, we spend a lot of time in this show talking about death and disease and cancer and catastrophe and we do it because, well... I think it's fucking funny. But we want to send you home now, with an upbeat number, with a dance number, with a song that'll put a smile on your face and a nice warm feeling down here in the cockles.

Everything is horrible, yeah-huh
Really, really, really, terrible
I'm really depressed
I'm really downtrodden
I'm downtrodden, squared...

The whole world is doomed, yeah
We're all gonna die
25,672 people die every single minute

Sixteen hundred and fifty people just died

Cancer, death, AIDS, inflation
Taxes, George Bush, Hell, Satan
Cancer of the face, cancer of the colon
Cancer of the wrist, yeah
and John Denver on compact disc, oh... [gasps]