Lyrics:

This is a song about vegetables
They keep you regular
They're real good for ya
Call any vegetable (call any vegetable)
Call it by name (call any vegetable)
Call one today (call any vegetable)
Off the train (call any vegetable)
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
Oh, the vegetable will respond to you

Call any vegetable (call any vegetable)
Pick up your phone (call any vegetable)
Think of a vegetable (call any vegetable)
Lonely at home (call any vegetable)
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
That a vegetable will respond to you
Ru-ta-ba-yi-ey-yi, ru-ta-ba-yi-ey-yi
Ru-ta-ba-yi-ey-yi, ru-ta-ba-yi-ey-yi, ru-ta-ba-ey

No one will know if you don't want to let them know
No one will know 'less it's you that might tell 'em so
Call and they'll come to you covered with dew
Vegetables dream of responding to you
Standing there shiny and proud by your side
Holding your joint while the neighbors decide
Why is a vegetable something to hide...

A lot of people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom
They think, uh, 'What can I say?
What can a person like myself say to a vegetable?'
But the answer is simple my friends
Just call and tell them how you feel
About muffins, pumpkins
Raspberry, calagonia, mahogony, elbows and
Green things in general
And soon and you'll report
Ooh, your new lil' green and yellow bodies
Living together
And no, maintaining a coolness together
Worshipping together in a church of your choice
Only in America

Call any vegetable
Call it by name
You've gotta call one today
When you get off the train
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
Oh, that the vegetable will respond to you
Oh no, can you see them responding
The pumpkin is breathing hard