Lyrics:

Went to a party, I danced all night
I drank 16 beers and I started up a fight
But now I'm jaded, you're out of luck
I'm rolling down the stairs, too drunk to fuck

I'm too drunk to fuck
I'm too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
I'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk to fuck

I like your stories, I love your gun
Shooting out cop tires sounds like loads and loads of fun
But in my room, wish you were dead
You bawl like the baby in Eraserhead

I'm too drunk to fuck
I'm too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
It's all I need right now, too drunk to fuck

I'm too drunk to fuck
I'm too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
I'm sick, soft, gooey and cold, too drunk to fuck

I'm about to drop, my head's a mess
My only salvation is I'll never see you again
You give me head, it makes it worse
Take out your fucking retainer, put it in your purse

I'm too drunk to fuck
You're too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck

It's all I need right now, oh baby
I'm melting like an ice cream bar, oh baby
And now I got diarrhea
Too drunk to fuck