Lyrics:

Words and music by John Kay

At six a.m. this morning, oh the man knocked at my door
I screamed in his ear, I'm not the guy you're looking for
But got taken, I got taken just the same
When it comes to getting sleep at night
Oh I just can't seem to win

I went down to the zoo where I thought I might hide
There I met a friendly grizzly bear, who took me for a ride
And I got mangled, oh I got pushed all out of shape
When it comes to being sociable
Oh I just can't seem to win

While climbing up Mt. Everest to get away from all the noise
I slipped on a banana peel and almost got destroyed
And I was worried all the way down to the ground
When it comes to holding safety nets
Nobody seems to be around

When I put myself together I found that it was best
If I no longer tried to be just like all the rest
Because I'm twisted, yeah but that's the bag I'm in
When it comes to being normal
Oh I just can't seem to win