Lyrics:

When bonny Clive was twenty three
he took a dive from the balcony
embarrassing his blushing bride
who took her red face for a ride
to Blackpool and the pouring rain
she went out on the evening train
and came in with the morning tide
as another seaside suicide

It was summertime when Sally Clarke
suffered from a broken heart
that left her down and out of touch
the patron saint of nothing much
no charity, no faith, no hope
she'd seen it on her favourite soap
take fifty thousand million pills
and don't forget to pay the bills

Well I remember Micky Doyle
he shuffled off this mortal coil
with no message for 'that special girl'
just thank you and goodbye cruel world
then for the sake of Auld Lang Syne
he put his head on the railway line
looked up at the morning sun
and waited for the train to come

The TV repossessed and so
I tune in to the radio
where the DJ's playing the same old songs
to whistle while you're signing on
give me the beat boy and free my soul
fill my pockets up with gold
I'll leave a message on the fridge
and drive my car off London Bridge

But London Bridge is falling down
there ain't no gold in Silver town
so I'm canceling my driving test
and walking back to happiness
whoop bye oh yeah yeah!

Everytime a churchbell rings
Another angel gets its wings