Lyrics:

They people the town with dominoes
Half price after dark
It's a half masked, two-faced place to go
Good thing the world's not flat
Oh, I'd be backing away from that
Second hand jacket from the fire brigade
Tries to not look drenched
While the damp umbrella in the corner hides
A humble fifty pence
You would have to hold us back
Rod and alcohol combine
A glass of gin and 'tonight's the night'
A sobering thought springs to my mind
So I get them in
There's the anecdote about an argument
With the singer from Jellyfish
Made a secretive call to some friends of mine
For a gift of twenty quid
Just enough to get us pished
Almost
Another drunk pub quiz compere
Another drink, just to make it fair
I see it's almost afternoon
And I get them in

Turn another page past the telly guide
And the pissed cartoonist's strip
Make a telephone trip to the lonely hearts'
Armchair party night
Or explorers can buy a wife
From Bangkok
One day everything goes just right
The next is the end of that era
But I bottle up and keep it inside
I'm in shipshape
Rod and alcohol combine
A glass of wine and 'tonight's the night'
A sobering thought springs to my mind
So I get them in