Lyrics:

They people the town with dominoes - half price after dark
It's a half masked, two-faced place to go
Good thing the world's not flat - I'd be backing away from there
The second hand jacket from the fire brigade tries to not look drenched
While the damp umbrella in the corner hides a humble fifty pence
You would have to hold us back

Rod and alcohol combine, a glass of gin and 'tonight's the night'
A sobering thought springs to my mind.....so I get them in

There's the anecdote about an argument with the singer from jellyfish
Made a secretive call to some friends of mine for a gift of twenty quid
Just enough to get us pished.....almost

Another drunk pub quiz compare, another drink, just to make it fair
I see it's almost afternoon.....so I get them in

Turn another page past the telly guide and the pissed cartoonist's strip
Take a telephone trip to the lonely hearts' armchair party night
Or explorers can buy a wife from Bangkok

One day everything turns out right, the next is the end of that era
But I bottle up and keep it inside, I'm in shipshape

Rod and alcohol combine, a glass of wine and 'tonight's the night'
A sobering thought springs to my mind.....so I get them in